Jon

Could you loosen your grip a little please? Yes, I actually said please. Amongst so many other things, I can feel your choking the most right now. You must have been so jealous when I started to say, "mercy," to Seth. Before I go any further, I already know that there are going to be some things that I say that piss you off. I am already going to say "mercy," to please postpone your beatings until a later time after I have had the baby. You like to make yourself look humorous and cute on the show, but know that you know you aren't kidding me and I am not denying your violence.
continuing on..........
With how some things are often so much in my face, I already know several things that have been pissing you off. Right now you are only being specific with one other person. I could go through the whole list of women and know there are plenty of names to say. The recent names that have been most frequent and that I have been intentionally tested and provoked with are: Maggie, Katie, Erin, Stacy, and sometimes Lisa. Whether or not you speak or acknowledge the truth about me.....and including the factor of your agenda that focuses on your capitalism and personal needs, through your anger, I know that you know they mean nothing to me. I will never feel inferior. I have already experienced the choices that you have made in wanting me to be subjected to them, their judgement, and their demands. I think they are full of shit and full of themselves. You could still continue on with lists of women to ever try to see if I would ever be subjected to any of them. I hate that I have been getting suffocated by their arrogance for the longest time. I already know the reason of some of your anger.
Anyway, right now, you are specifically talking about Katie and are bringing back one movie a few years ago. I don't remember the name but I'm thinking it was called the "Uninvited." I think that movie is full of shit too. Despite the obvious, you would say that my sister is the bigger victim. You are saying that I am responsible for getting "her and my mother burned alive." I hear you loud and clear with your self-acknowledgement of being the bull. You must really burn on the inside when you hear me talk to my therapist about being the scapegoat and other drama. You would probably make me the victim and scapegoat of having my free speech with just a therapist as well. When I don't see it your way, I really don't know what you are expecting from me. Heck, I've even told my therapist I don't know how to lie. I just don't know what you want from me. Do you want your own scripted version in a more feminist view with a female singer putting on this cry for mercy show?:



Then again who knows, you were already supposedly with my father so maybe you would want me to literally cross dress as a guy?
Another guess is that you have an issue with my snobbery with Stacy and other females and you have a vision or fantasy of a neverending "You've been served," matches. You may want it to end in your own fantasy of us having a violent hookup together where who knows how you want it to end and even possibly at worst you would want it where she would be the "dominatrix."
I really don't know what would be worse: being forced through that probable fantasy of yours, or sucking it after knowing all of the enemies you've been with. From last night's show, I can tell you already want me to be repulsed.

I know I must be making it difficult for your bull to calm down and keep from raging at me to hit me, but when you are demanding and I am being submissive and at your mercy TO ANSWER TO YOU I still don't know how to lie or what it is you are expecting or how to tame your beast.
I still do have the nerve to say: "mercy," and wait to hurt me or hit me at a different time. I doubt my request for me to stop being suffocated by so much arrogance will probably not be answered, but will you please loosen your chokehold? The times you want me at your mercy, you need to be very communicative and specific so I can talk about whatever you are pistol whipping me with.
The other person included in this scene with matrix connections... I really do not know how to look at him. It isn't necessarily meant for him but I don't know how to look at him.