A new Chicago Story

Because some unknown mediator already threw out a public personal issue, I have to do the same because I don't know who I am talking to or what is going on.

I think the reason of most "why's" may be due to my father. I'm not really sure of all of my why's but it was my overreaction to Josh where most attention of stalking was made obvious.

Ok, I did apologize and clarify for the overreaction of Precious.
However, in recent rumors, I hear my father has a defense that my senior report drove him overboard.

This is another oil rig response.
I am letting everyone know that I put myself first before anyone. I know there will definitely be negative chauvenistic reactions that fail to see their own selfish double-standard.
I hate that I have to be honest in this way, because I don't trust him or any other chauvenist and hate to put myself in a vulnerable position.

I think my dad is a selfish asshole to say that and think I should actually "be at his mercy."

No, I don't know what my dad goes through. I don't know what some things are tha he may have to deal with or if he even has to deal with anything at all.

I know what I have dealt with for the past several years now, and I easily shove aside his comment where he tries to justify himself. It really creates a new unknown story for me that I have yet to know. He must be responsible for something major other than acting like a psycho in this house. I really do not know what my dad is responsible for doing. In recent times, he creeps me out in so many ways.
In past times, I see him as a disguised and tormenting liar. I think my mom is the same way.

Whenever I was being messed with too much and went to the police and the hospital for the first time, it seemed more like a celebration for my parents than a tragedy. There is always the cliched sympathy and "get wells", but their countenance was more of a joyful one than a sad one. I really was so confused that I did not know how to react to them when they visited me for the first time in the hospital. I think my dad even cracked a joke about it before they left their visit.
They do want me to be seen as the delusional and psychotic one while they get away with their lies, tricks, stalking, abuse, gossip, and hate.

I already know what I have dealt with in the past several years. I'm not going to wear my heart on my sleeve either and give sadists any further satisfaction.
What I'm going to say is that I have already dealt with enough and on top of that people taking advantage of my vulnerability and blackmail to push me around and abuse me whenever it was convenient. I don't see myself as being as vulnerable as I have been before, but I definitely still see myself as being vulnerable although I am more skilled at dealing with the stockholm of it all.

So after already living through years of being lied to and being further abused, I offer no apology to my senior report.
In all honesty, I was so over-medicated that I was not even thinking about the topic of my senior paper. The irony that I even showed it to my parents in my own over-medicated stupor that I didn't even think about it.
The Dr's and most others were in denial and too hateful to research and consider my reality. I was hit so hard with their hate, labels, and judgement that paranoia that would have been reasonable and with common sense didn't even have an alarm to go off in my head about the senior paper.

In the present with the specific example and present exploits that I sometimes scream about my father: I do not apologize for. I don't care if he calls me selfish, I do put myself first before any family member and I think it is sick for anyone to think that I should put up with him when he gets stalking, harassing, and threatening.

I don't see any reason why anyone thinks I should be abused or "punished" and "at someone's mercy."
There is no reason. There is no excuse.

I think there is more going on with my father's drama right now. I think there is other drama going on with people that I don't know about and am left in the dark with. Again, I am my first priority, I would want to be curious and in the know, but I am not going to revolve around it.